Adoption: A Letter To My Birth Mother Who I Never Knew
98
I was born on October 13, 1948. It was a Wednesday at 2:10 p.m. that I entered this world. Two days earlier the Cleveland Indians had defeated the Boston Braves to win the World Series four games to two. Three days earlier the Soviets had launched the first successful missile to reach space. Seven days earlier an earthquake in Ashgabat killed over 110,000 people. In nineteen days Harry S. Truman would defeat Thomas Dewey in the Presidential election despite newspapers claiming that he had lost.
The world continued doing what it does on October 13, 1948. Millions of kids headed off to school, parents headed off to work, the sun shone (my fantasy), the weather weathered and I was put up for adoption. I would spend the next nine months in eight different foster homes; by the end of June, 1949 I was undernourished, under-nurtured and blind when I was adopted by Evelyn and Dale Holland in Tacoma, Washington. The rest, as they say, is history.
Dear Mother (Who I Never Knew):
I thought I would take a few minutes and tell you about the son you gave birth to; since chances are great that you will never read this I guess this letter is more for me than you, a cleansing of sorts to put things in perspective and bring some closure.
I was adopted nine months after you gave birth by Evelyn and Dale Holland of Tacoma, Washington. They were in their twenties when they adopted a blind child who had been bounced around from one foster home to another, eight times in fact, and they gave me a home and a loving environment in which to grow and thrive. Sure they had their problems; what young couple doesn’t? There was never a moment, however, during my upbringing when I doubted their love for me. They both worked hard and did everything in their power to provide a loving home. They pampered me, as most parents will, and they made sure that I attended the best schools that they could afford, often going without so that I would have the tools and opportunities to succeed. They are both dead now; dad died of a heart attack when I was twenty and mom died of cancer in 2003 and I miss them both greatly. The lessons they taught me and their words still live on today and I find myself recalling those words and lessons and I smile. Like most kids I often turned a deaf ear when they tried to teach me something but in the end the lessons stuck and have guided me throughout my life.
I had a good childhood. I was small for my age but finally grew to a fairly normal size. I was a happy child with good friends and a great neighborhood to explore and a safe environment that fostered learning and love. I was sickly as a child, seemingly catching every flu and cold bug but I managed to avoid the horrible diseases that so many caught during the Fifties and Sixties.
Once I had traversed the landscape of childhood my body grew strong and impervious to any disease so that today I look back and marvel at the body you gave me. I am sixty-three now and have been blessed with a body that seems to know no limits or restrictions. I have only been to the hospital once, for a back operation, and considering what I put my body through over the years it is nothing short of a miracle that it continues to function as well as it does.
I have made mistakes along the way, Mom. I have been divorced twice and tripped and stumbled often as I found my way through life. When times got tough and I ran out of answers I turned to alcohol and I fought that disease for decades. I am happy to report that I have now been sober for five years and I am the happiest that I have ever been. I have a twenty-seven year old son, Tyler, who is a great kid and I love him very much. I am engaged to the most wonderful woman (Bev) who has shown me more about love in the past four years than I ever knew in all the years prior.
I was a school teacher for eighteen years; I have always loved children and it turned out I had a special talent in a classroom, a real passion to pass on knowledge to my students. Besides teaching I have had twenty other jobs to put bread on the table and each job taught me something about life and responsibility. Today I write full time and I have found the same passion for writing that I once had for teaching.
I have never tried to find you, Mom, as so many adopted kids do. I decided a long time ago that you had your reasons for placing me with an adoption agency and that I respect those reasons, whatever they may be. It is not for me to judge you; you did what you thought was right at the time and I can never know why you made that decision because I wasn’t there and I am not you. There is no blame in this letter. I was adopted by two people who loved me and gave me the best upbringing a boy could ask for; to blame you when I was given everything I needed by my adopted parents would be silly of me.
I guess I wanted you to know that I love you and I wanted to thank you. You so easily could have opted for an abortion. It certainly was not unheard of back in 1948; there were ways to have it arranged and in many ways it would have been the easy solution for you. Instead you carried me for nine months and then endured the physical pain of giving birth and the emotional and psychological pain of giving your son away and I know without any doubt that you must have suffered greatly in doing so.
So I thank you, Mom; you gave me birth and in doing that you gave me a chance, and sixty-three years later that boy you gave life to is a happy and fulfilled man who is surrounded by love. That is an incredible gift, Mom, and I will forever love you for that gift.
I hope you are alive and well; if not I hope you had a good life, a loving life, a life filled with wonder, in short the same kind of life you gave me.
Love always,
Bill
- National Adoption Center: Adopt a Child
Home of the National Adoption Center
- A Message To Adopted Kids Everywhere: Stand Proud!
This message to adopted kids focuses on the natural feelings of abandonment and rejection that many feel. To all of you who were adopted I say to you stand proud!
- Adoptive Parents | USA.gov
Official information and services from the U.S. government
|
Baby Keepsake Books, Babysitter Memo Pads, Adoption Gift Books LOT
Current Bid: $.99
|
|
ADOPT Sticker Dog Cat Window Paw Print Pet Rescue Puppy
Current Bid: $1.99
|
|
THE COMPLETE IDIOT'S GUIDE TO ADOPTION by Christine A. Adamec (PAPERBACK MINT)
Current Bid: $.99
|
 | Amazon Price: $6.84 List Price: $15.95 |
 | Amazon Price: $2.99 |
 | Amazon Price: $3.91 List Price: $18.95 |
vote upvote downshareprintflag
- Useful (16)
- Funny
- Awesome (22)
- Beautiful (43)
- Interesting (14)
CommentsLoading...
Thank you Matt; I've had a good life and it just keeps getting better.
Thank You Uncle Bill, I love the story and it helped me know where you stand and how you feel. It might seem strange but, I have often wondered about where you stand and how you feel. Love you!!!
You are welcome Sandy and love you too!
I am in awe of your positive attitude and mature outlook on a difficult situation, not to mention the kindness and compassion this shows. Welcome to Hubpages. I predict you will do very well. Thank you so much for sharing something so personal.
Petvix, thank you! It took me a long time to reach the "mature" level but I'm still working on it. Best of luck to you although it does not appear that you need luck with the track record you have.
Bill, this is beautiful! You found the positive and held no malice. It must have been a hard thing for your mother in the 40's to give you up. We have a destiny from birth, and yours was with your wonderful parents. I know your birth mother would be proud of you. I am glad you were blessed with your adoptive parents. Voted up, useful, beautiful, awesome, and interesting. Thanks for sharing your letter.
Bill - I found this on Twitter as Sholland shared it with me. I am so touched by this....and your birth mother would be so proud of you - as a mother myself I know this:)
Wow Poetvix, did I really spell your name as badly as it looks? I must have been way past my nap when I wrote that...I apologize profusely.
RealHousewife....thank you; your words mean so much to me.
sholland10...what can I say; I am humbled by your praise and since your last name is Holland it means that much more to me. :)
We Hollands are cool!! :-) LOL
I lost my daughter to adoption in 1980. She looked for me snd that was the greatest gift she will ever be able to give me. You see even as late as the 80's women were coerced into giving ip their children when not married. Or poor. We were told it was the loving thing to do. Bunk. Mothers and children should never be separated.
Your mother endured much trauma by loosing you. It's like loosing a part of your body. Part of your soul goes with the child.
You wrote s lively letter. Just know that it almost certainly wasn't your mothers choice to lose you. And she most likely eould be so delighted to meet you today. It's worth the risk, Bill. Do it for your mom.
Bill, it was a kind and thoughtful letter you wrote to your birthmom, full of understanding and heart. It is the kind of letter I wished I could have received from the child that I had to relinquish in 1973. Even then, society frowned upon single girls keeping their babies. Young people today have no idea what it was like.
My child, who is now 38, wants nothing to do with me. Even so, she could have written kinder letter than she did. Mine and my family's hearts have been shattered. For so many years, I was full of false hope and fantasized about meeting one day. For now, it's not to be, but I pray that her sentiments may change. I hope that she can put herself in my shoes, for once, and try to understand.
Ilost my daughter to adoption in 1980. She looked for me and that was the greatest gift she will ever be able to give me. You see, even as late as the 80's women were coerced into giving up their children when not married. Or poor. We were told it was the loving thing to do. Bunk. Mothers and children should never be separated.
Your mother endured much trauma by losing you. It's like losing a part of your body. Part of your soul goes with the child.
You wrote a lovely letter. Just know that it almost certainly wasn't your mothers choice to lose you. And she most likely would be so delighted to meet you today.
It's worth the risk, Bill. Meet her. Do it for your mom.
Hi billybuc thank you so much for sharing this letter with us. I had a son in 1980 that I placed for adoption. It was one of the hardest things I had to endure in life. Knowing that when I sign the papers, I would more than likely never see him again. I can't even put into words the anguish one goes through... I searched for my son for 15+ years. I posted my information on more adoption websites than I can remember in hopes of finding him. It was when I decided to give up searching, that I received an answer. It was truly God that did that for me.
I did find him and I've been in contact through emails, letters and facebook. He is married and I also have 2 beautiful granddaughters. He's not ready to meet me yet and I respect that. I hope someday to be able to see him face to face and give him the biggest hug and kiss and let him know he's been loved forever. Also to meet his beautiful wife and adorable girls.
Thank you again for writing this. As a birthmom myself, if I were to receive a letter such as this from my son...I'd be elated! I was contemplating writing a hub about my experience. Since reading this, it just solidifies even deeper that I will pursue it. You have my votes for sure!
Have a great day and God bless! :-)
I will respond to all as soon as our power is back on...thank you so much for your lovely responses.
We Hollands are very cool!
Barbara...thank you so much for sharing your experience with me. A difficult subject indeed but one that is so important to be talked about and shared...I appreciate your willingness to do so.
CP...thank you for sharing your story. I have no doubt at all about the difficulty of giving up a child and I admire you for telling your story; perhaps others can learn from your words.
Barbara...thank you for sharing your words with me and for your encouragement. I may one day follow your suggestions; they have been on my mind a lot lately.
Field of Flowers...that is just beautiful and I am truly happy for you. That is a happy ending anyone could enjoy...thank you for your comments and God bless you and your son!
To all of you: your responses, comments and personal stories have touched me deeply. Thank you!
Billybuc your adoptive parents demonstrate what it means to me to not just become a parent but to be a parent. What a beautiful example you have written that sometimes it takes many people to be the parent a child deserves. Thanks for your words they touched my heart!!!
Kelley...I think you said it much better than I did in my hub; thank you for your words.
Beautiful. Your love shines through.
carozy...that was a beautiful comment...thank you!
The pressure from adults often are the reason for a mother giving up her child for adoption. I am sure your mom would have kept you if she could have.
I have no doubt, Enlydia, that she would have, and I respect her decision for what it was: best for her, best for me. A win-win situation. Thank you for checking in.
Billybuc: Thanks for an inspiring hub. Great job and voted up! Kevin
Kevin, I appreciate the vote and the kind words. Take care and be well.
I love this story! It's so touching...I wish I had gotten to know you better when you were teaching. I hear life is good for you right now, and I'm happy for you. God bless, Mr. Holland!
I love this story! It's so touching...I wish I had gotten to know you better when you were teaching. I hear life is good for you right now, and I'm happy for you. God bless, Mr. Holland!
DCE....well I wish I knew who you are so I could thank you in more depth on a personal level...thank you for reading, and commenting, and for being my student.
What a beautiful letter to your birth mother. You have truly been blessed by both your birth mother for giving you life and your adoptive parents for loving you unconditionally.
creativelycc...yes, I have, and I couldn't be happier because of it. Thank you so much for visiting and commenting; I just love the positive feedback I have received.
Great Hub billybuc, truly touching and inpirational. So happy you came through, nice dog by the way.
Voted up and shared.
I'm glad you wrote this. I may pass it on to my son-- our four children are adopted out of foster care and we have two boys we were guardians to during their teen years. I've been wanting to write about my experience as an adoptive dad and the challenges of the past 5 years. Glad to read such a personal touch.
This a truly touching letter Bill - and if I was your birth mother and read this I would be rushing out to find you...but more to the point it is lovely to know that with the help of your 3 parents you have reached a wise, thoughtful and loving maturity....cheers
Beautifully written Billybuc! I can so much relate to the compasion you have for your birthmother. She made a huge sacrifice when giving you up for adoption.
I was given up too. A Colombian babygirl I was. I think back of my birthmother once in a while though I never met her. I think back at her with so much love.
To be able to feel nothing but love for the one person that gave you up, is an incredible way of going through life. Loved to read your letter!
Voted up, shared and away:-)
ajcor, that was a lovely thing to write. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Don, congratulations on a job well-done. Raising four kids from foster care; you and others like you have a special place in my heart. Thank you for reading and commenting.
Jazz is a great dog; we are both getting along in years but we remain faithful. Thank you for your comment and for following along on my journey.
A beautiful letter to your mother. Your appreciation shines through with each word of gratitude. You got my vote!!!:)
Escobana, your words touch me and are greatly appreciated. Thank you and thank you again!
Sunshine, your continued support truly does warm my heart. Thank you again for your words and sentiment.
All of you have touched my heart with your comments; you have no idea how much they mean to me.
What I love about your letter, and there are actually many things, is that you demonstrate a true understanding of what it means to be a parent. It's not about who gave life to you at the moment of birth; it's about the person who gives you his or her life every day of your life. It's about the person who would lay down her life for you. You get it, Bill and I am so happy to read that your life is so wonderful now. I'll bet you were a wonderful teacher. You sound like a person who deserves much happiness. Voted up and beautiful.
greatparenting...those words are like music to my heart. So kind of you to say those things. Thank you for stopping by and commenting and best of luck to you in the future.
Congratulations on your HubNugger nomination!
http://enellelamb.hubpages.com/hub/HubNugget-Myste
Well deserved!
Thank you millionaire; very kind words indeed and I greatly appreciate it.
Congratulations on your nomination. This was incredibly brave, touching, and beautiful. The courage it took to write this and share it with the world...Wow. You took a step that I believe many will be blessed because of and encouraged by. I especially love that you noted it would be silly to be upset when you were given such a wonderful life. I think this is something so many people miss in the heartache of being given up for adoption. One little girl I know said about her adoption, "My mother allowed me to be special. Most kids have to live with the mother and father they are born to, but mine loved me enough to let my Mommy and Daddy pick me. My mother and father gave me life, but my Mommy and Daddy give me love. My mother and father gave me hope, and my Mommy and Daddy give that hope wings. I will never feel that they didn't love me and hope for the best because for me to have such a great family now let's me know I am in the right place. I was born to be placed with the X's." (Name withheld due to privacy.) When she shared that with me it was so touching and so true. It helped me realize that not all adopted kids have to feel a void. It is all in the perspective. Like that little girl, you have a good perspective. Thank you for sharing.
eyes...that was a beautiful letter you shared with me and I am most grateful and touched by it. Thank you so much for the well-wishes and the kind comments. I am humbled by those words.
This is really a very touching story ..Thanks for that
htodd...and thank you for reading it and commenting so nicely.
What a great letter. I am glad you have a good life, so many kids never get this chance. You are right, it looks that your birth mother made a right decision a long time ago.
Thank you Queen; the outpouring of well-wishes following this hub has been a wonderful thing for me. I appreciate your words.
Reading this has been an honor. it really has. this story is beautiful. for you to come out, and express yourself, has touched mu heart. you have an amazing look on life, i love this so much.
martins, you have no idea how that makes me feel. Thank you so much for reaching out and making an old writer feel good.
you are absolutely right, you are loved. you are loved by the people who you have inspired through this hub, and that includes me. I hope to one day meet you in person one day, or to write you actual letters. this has really been a true inspiration to my life.
He wrote with tears in his eyes...."thank you." Writing, for me, is all about feeling and passion. If I have helped you then my night has been a wonderful adventure. Feel free to email me if you like and we can share stories...are we allowed to share email addresses? guess we are about to find out...holland1145@yahoo.com
Hi Billy...I can feel you as I read your words...your sincerity, your love and your gratitude...and my eyes are teary eyed. So many times, we become so focused on our woes that we forget to celebrate the blessings. I thank you for sharing your story which is very inspiring. If your mom would read this I am sure she will be so proud, so happy to know she had such a great and wonderful son! Keep sharing your love and light as you have so much to share to the world. Blessings and love from a kindred spirit.
Congratulations on your Hubnuggets nomination. To all who would like to read and vote and support the Hubnuggets, this way please: http://enellelamb.hubpages.com/hub/HubNugget-Myste
ripplemaker, that was gracious of you and I deeply appreciate your words. Thank you so much!
Your hub brought tears to my eyes. Egads, you're an amazing writer. We have another thing in common: I'm adopted, too. Catholic school, adoption, alcoholism (in the family, at least) - sheesh. I hope you get this HubNugget. You DESERVE it! I want to be just like you when I'm a good writer. :)
cclitgirl...well shoot, now I'm blushing at seven in the morning. Thank you my dear, but I think you are a great writer, and I will always respect someone who survived Catholic school. :)
You owe me a box of tissues. This is open, gracious, and very moving. I am at a loss for words! Well done.
Your mother is very fortunate to have a son like you. I am sure that she would be moved if she were to read this letter. Its so nice that you have so much gratitude and appreciation for your parents and for life in the grand sense of the word. I think we can all learn something from this wonderful letter to your birth mother. I would have cried a pail if I was your mother. I am at a loss for words. You really are a good soul.
Your letter is a testament to what being a parent means. As I read your letter, I felt an immediate sense of genuine affection. Your words are very inspiring. The fact that you talked about your experiences with a positive tone was beautiful to read. I think when we look at things; we will appreciate the wonderful things in our life. Everything happens for a reason. I think your parents are definitely a gift, a blessing, and symbol of good heart. I can see that they must have brought you up so well.
You are definitely your parents legacy. Thanks for sharing this awe inspiring and emotional letter. Thanks so very much. You have made my day. Bless your soul. You are a good soul. Thanks so very much. I miss my parents dearly as well. They were both teachers and wonderful human beings.
Oh Tammy, why is it that I feel so good when you read one of my hubs and comment? Thank you and the tissues are in the mail; just keep reading and I'll keep sending them.
jeyaramd, that is incredibly nice of you to say. It is a letter that has been a long time in the making. I wish, now, that I had met my birth mother so she could have heard these words. Oh well, no regrets and move forward. Thank you my dear; your words have touched me.
I think no matter what happens when it comes to a mother's love it will always be there. A warm touching hub that will give any mother joy. You inspire those around you.
Well thank you kat11; those are kind words indeed and I appreciate them greatly.
Billybuc, this is a beautiful piece. I admire your positive attitude and loving heart. I hope other adopted kids will realize the things you shared here instead of blaming and cursing their parents for the rest of their lives. It's always nice to read an inspiring story such as yours.
Thank you Cliff; I appreciate your words and my hope is the same as yours. Personal experiences need to be passed on so others can possibly learn.
Children are never "given up" for adoption. They are placed for adoption. I sincerely doubt any woman who has gone through pregnancy, birth, and the decision to place her child (even if it is forced) has "given up" her child. That child, I'm sure, will always remain in her heart.
I tell my daughter that she grew in another Mother's tummy but she grew in my heart. Then after she came home to me she stayed in the other Mother's heart while I became her forever Mommy. My daughter tells me that before she found me she was looking for a Mommy and a Daddy and a sister (but no brothers because boys are icky), but she's glad she found me and that we adopted each other!
I only hope and pray she feels that way when she becomes a teenager!
From an adoptive single Mom to you, great hub Billybuc!
Baking, that was lovely, and I'm so happy that you adopted. It is a subject that is near and dear to my heart and I appreciate you reaching out with your message.
I just saw this on a weekly news about hub nuggets. And I thought...Gosh, that's billybuc! I just made friends with him....wow.
Did you say your were blind? That can't be. You just described the yellowstone park.
I really liked this hub. A spiritual sweetness in it.
Did you ever find your birth mom?
Ann, I was blind until nine months of age so yes, I have seen Yellowstone. No, I never looked for my birth mother; I always figured she had a reason for giving me up for adoption and I respected that; now I'm more curious than I was when I was younger but I doubt I'll ever look for her. Thank you for your comment and I appreciate you reading along and finding spiritual sweetness in it.
Billy Buc - what a beautiful hub - any mother who reads this will be comforted in the decision she made. God bless you, and your family.
I am so glad I decided to read your hub. You have shared from your heart and it is felt thru your words. My sister adopted three abused children. She knows all of their biological parents. Sometimes it is better not to know who gave birth to you, but I can understand your feeling grateful just to be alive. Wonderful hub.
Beautiful hub Billy Buc. Being a birth mom, I am sure that she is in heaven rejoicing over what a great heart you have. I wish you the best in life and love, as I did my own.
This piece was 'crafted by your heart', congratulation to your nomination, well deserved:)
Chloe, thank you so much! Your words warm my heart. God bless you as well.
elayne, life is a wondrous gift; how could I not be appreciative. Thank you from the bottom of this old heart.
SimpleGiftsofLove...what a wonderful hub name you have. Thank you for your words and I wish you happiness as well, a life filled with love.
Beata, I appreciate it. I do write from the heart in hopes that my words can somehow help someone else.
Congratulations on your win! I imagine it feels great to write such a heartwarming story that can help others AND win an award for it. Keep writing!
Awww, thank you Eyes...it did feel good, being judged by other writers for my work. My family has to like my writing but when strangers do...yes, that feels good. Thank you for your support!
Congratulations on winning a hub nugget. This is a lovely piece, I particularly like the compassion and understanding you show for your birth mother. How can we ever know what leads a person to make the decisions they do? Blame helps no one, certainly not the one doing the blaming, and your letter shows so clearly that compassion heals.
Melovy, as usual I appreciate you and your comments. I certainly have no right to blame anyone for their decisions. I'm sure she did what she felt was right at the time and that's all any of us can do.
Beautiful letter! Thank you for sharing. Voted up and beautiful.
Shell, I thank you! This one came from the heart and that made it easy to write.
Serendipity - an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident.
maybe this wasnt an accident, maybe it was fate, you weren't supposed to meet your mother,. maybe you were to supposed to live life as a free spirit, open your heart to other things.
Martins, maybe indeed that was the case. I know only that my life turned out very well and I regret nothing because to do so is to invalidate all that has come before. Thank you for taking the time to read my hub!
Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.
Very touching! It sounds like you had wonderful parents who helped you become the man you are today. Sometimes in life we become who we are because of the experiences we have gone through. In your case, you had a rough life early on but it did not deter you from doing great things and helping others. Thanks for sharing!
I believe that completely Belen! :)
Thank you jennty, and you are right, I did have wonderful parents who supported me and loved me and really showed me the way. I got sidetracked for awhile but never forgot their lessons of love.
I cried while reading this and admire you for writing this. Your parents sound like saints and your birth mother did a wonderful thing by placing you in their lives. I also want to say congrats on being sober and I hope all the best things in life find their way to you.
LisaMarie, I always hate making a woman cry but in this case I guess it's okay. :) Thank you for your kind comments and I wish the best in life for you as well.
she gave you life, you were adopted, you lived a happy life, and most of all, you've become an amazing writer. destiny happens :)
Belen, you are so right...it all worked out and I love happy endings. Thank you my dear for following faithfully.
This is just so beautiful. If your Mom could read this I think she would feel happy to have you in this life, but she would also feel such deep sorrow and regret for the circumstances having gone that way. You have such a unique way of treating things...
Nare, first of all thank you. I don't remember seeing your name pop up before and I appreciate all of my followers. Thank you so much for your kind words; it's been a long life, at times fairly difficult, but I wouldn't trade it for any other. Thank you!
Your letter reminds me of one of my favorite quotes: "Stories make us more human." This story of yours reminds us of how human we all are.
Jaybos, I love that quote and it is why I write...the human experience that we all understand so well. I appreciate the kind words and thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment.
Hi, I am glad that you see no bad in your birth mother. I have been through a couple of hubs suggesting adoption instead of abortion. While I don't feel good about abortion, I don't think in a situation where a mother has to make the decision between abortion or adoption - there is a fine line and nobody can judge it, unless they have been there in that exact situation.
I don't believe for a minute that it is easy for a mother to give their child that they carried in their womb for 9 months, away and just move on with their lives. We hear stories all the time from mothers searching for the child they had to give away for all kind of reasons. So, they are obviously never free of the painful decision they had to make once.
There are cases where adopted children are being abused by their adoptive parents, just read one the other day again, where he had 3 adopted children and one pending - the kids under sexual abuse.
I am always glad when I hear of those parents who really accept the adopted child with love, like yours did!
Even though you moved from one home to another at very young age - not sure, but I suspect it was a plus for you not being older, yet. The more you experience consciously the more it affects you and your life - you were spared.
But I also understand that you still keep thinking about your birth mother. There might be some curiosity for you to wonder what she is like, what she looks like. Ever wondered about your biological father?
And I think that is natural, but you have accepted it as a part that you have no influence on and worked hard on yourself all those years through good and bad.
You did well and you will do well.
Beadreamer...thank you for taking the time to read my hub and the detailed comment. To answer your question I have given very little thought about my birth father and I would not be able to give you a good answer why not. Being adopted was in the background for most of my life; I had a wonderful childhood and always considered my adopted parents to be the only real parents I had. As I grew older there was curiosity but obviously not enough for me to do any real search; I always felt that my birth parents had their reasons and at least for me it turned out to be a good decision. Thank you for the in-depth observations.
@Billybuc I think you were raised by great parents. This letter says nothing to your biological mother but is an instant tribute to the ones who raised you to be such a sensible person. Hats off to them, May they rest in peace.
Owais, you are of course correct. They were incredible to me and I love them daily even though they are gone. Thank you for your beautiful insight.
billybuc, this hub leaves me speechless. I didn't know what to expect when I began to read it. You always seem to enlighten,inspire and leave me in awe. Your birth mother would indeed be proud of you. Your adoptive family were as blessed to have you as you were to have them. Thanks so much for sharing.
Moonfairy, I greatly appreciate you visiting and your words are uplifing. I love happy endings and I am indeed a happy ending. Life finds a way of sorting things out in time. Thank you so much!
no. Thank YOU billybuc. You ARE a happy ending and I am sincerely happy for you. You have touched my soul with your journey and I applaud you.
Thank you Moonfairy; I am honored by your words. Have a wonderful weekend!
beautiful.. U r the real hero.. I LOVE UR HUBS
Eolikes, thank you for your kind words. It makes me happy to know others out there like what I write. Have a lovely day!
It is encouraging reading your story. I know some parents who adopted children and poured their hearts and lives out for them and then were rejected (not by the children seeking out the birth parents, just escaping into what appeared to be the excitement of life on one's own, but the excitement is already turning into pain). It is encouraging to think that even if it takes decades, the children's life might smooth out and be happier as your seems to be, and the parents may yet experience the understanding and appreciation you show for your parents.
Aethelthryth, this is truly a happy ending but in fact I have never had anything to be unhappy about regarding adoption. I am a living, breathing billboard for the benefits of adoption. Thank you for your lovely comment.
Oh wow Billy I thought those comments were never going to end;however I was hardly surprised;a hub right from your heart and truly beautiful also.
Before reading this I composed another in my Cherokee series and strangley it was also along these lines;it must be telepathy.
As Sunshine Ray receives a letter also which upsets her for a little while.
Now she had great desicions to be made;very important desicions too; and what should she do.??
I loved this one take care and enjoy your day.
Eddy.
Eddy, your Cherokee series amazes me. How do you know so much about them? how do you manage to capture their spirit so well? You are a marvel and I look up to you as someone who has taken her craft to a different level through hard work and perseverance. I'm proud to call you a friend. I was pleased with this hub; it felt right after I had finished it and I was quite happy with the response. Anyway, have a day to be proud of my friend.
Oh Billy;you are certainly doing my self confidence the world of good. Ha ha !!
How do I capture their spirits???
My interest began about two months ago when I awoke really early one morning and out of nowhere wanted to research and hopefully write about these wonderful people.
My first chapter was what I had learnt from the research and then slowly but surely my own mind took over and there were words and feelings pouring out and I didn't try to stop them.
Then came the moment when I pressed the publish now link I was a little nervous as to what others would say.
I needn't have wooried because everyone seemed to enjoy them.
Also many who had strong connections with these people noted the connection;so for the second chapter a little more of me showed and I now know that I do have a connection with the Cherokees.
I am not too sure how or why but I just accept it and am enjoying myself so as I create them.
It may stem from Earth's Mother's strong message.
As a child I spent so much time with my Beagle Lassie in the fields way up high or in the Commins(Woodland)to escape the abuse at home.
I have learnt so much all through my life from places such as this .
I also know what you mean about feeling that the hub is right;if this happens I delay publishing and come back another day or week when it may freely flow!!!
A true gem here Billy and take care my friend.
Eddy.
Eddy, you had the Commins and I had Mt. Rainier. That was my place of escape and sanity, but whereas you were running from abuse I was running from myself. I never did win that race. :) Thank you for telling me about the process in writing those hubs. The older I get the more Native American I become. :)
Dear billybuc,
Thanks for touching my soul - I was also adopted as a baby and had a marvelous set of parents. I also wondered about my origins and the circumstances. You have opened up my mind onto a higher plane by your loving letter. It is the middle of the night and for some reason I couldn't sleep. Now a fountain of tears have washed away my tensions and I feel light and ready to sleep sweet dreams. Will surely read more of your Hubs. Cheers, Christo.
Christo, your comments are the reason why I write. Thank you sir and I will visit your site soon. I greatly appreciate your words and I am so very happy that my words touched you.
Peace to you my friend!
bill
The toughest cases I have had to deal with in my private practice have always been to do with abandonment. Regardless of the reasons behind why a parent gives up a child the child feels it subconsciously and this feeling touches every aspect of the child's development. In adulthood every relationship is influenced by that initial separation and each time they push a loved one away they are not consciously aware of why they do this to themselves. Thank you for sharing Bill.
Xavier, that is very interesting to know. I suspected as much but had not heard a professional endorse my feelings. Thank you for sharing that and of course for you constant support.
You can understand why so many who have been abandoned as children resort to alcohol and drugs to anesthetize these very powerful feelings. The operative word here is feelings and in my experience it is only in dealing with these repressions at the subconscious level that the person ever experiences real and permanent relief and freedom from their all encompassing influence on their lives.
BTW I have also sent your details to another professional Noel McDermott ( @NoelMcDermott on Twitter) who is someone who specializes in addiction in England asking him to share your stories too.
You are a kind man Xavier; if I can ever reciprocate for you please let me know and it is done.
On a personal note, it took me a very long time to realize that it just doesn't matter. I could use that as a crutch if I wanted to or I could choose to be happy. I fervently hope that through your work others do not have to wait as long as I did to cope with these issues and feelings.
Beautifully written and a wonderful perspective. So many times I wished I were given up for adoption as I came from a cruel abusive family. We all have paths for a reason and I accept mine and have grown from it. I too love the person I have become and am grateful for every second I have lived. Glad you are in a good place and able to reflect and appreciate what you now have. I too am in a similiar place and grateful.
Thank you Karmicfilly! It was a letter that I needed to write and I appreciate your kind words. I also appreciate that you are in a similar place and that, my friend, is a win-win for both of us. Peace and happiness to you always.
Thanks very much for sharing your story. It's a beautiful letter that really touches your soul.
One day I hope to adopt regardless if I end being married or not. My only hope is to bring up a child with the warmth of a family and much love and the best level of education I can manage.
I find the world is full of hate and greed, if I can change one child's upbringing, I feel that life would be worth it.
Your story was inspiring :)
Dinruq, you are very welcome and I hope one day you do, indeed adopt; I have no doubt you will love that child and raise it properly. Best wishes to you!
Wonderful touching hub. I hope one day to adopt.
My best wishes to you Jessica and thank you for your nice words.
Very beautiful and inspiring Billy. Your hubs always touch my heart.
Tina, that makes me happy! Thank you my friend!
Thank you for your kind words. I'm sure you were a great teacher.
Thank you Dinruq!
My heart leaps with joy for you! because you are not bitter. You are safe and found wonderful parents to help raise you to be on the good path. You walked through the pain and now arrive a happy and centered man. I send BIG spirit hugs! :) May you always know that your birth mom will always be a part of who you are. I send you blessings and continued happiness! :) voted up for the moving and beautifully written feelings. shared on twitter to help those who seek answers that they may find them.
Jo, that is so sweet of you! Thank you my friend and hopefully this hub will give some comfort to someone who is struggling with this issue.
Very beautiful. Your parents, all of them, would be very proud of the person you've become.
TripleA, thank you for those kind words. I hope you are right and I'm pretty sure you are. :)
Hello..it's soo sad, i know that your mom did suffered so much for losing her baby way back. She loves you so much that she carried you for 9 months and let you live. She's a great mom. Giving you up is very hard but she has reasons.. reasons that sometimes we cannot understand but if you will just take a deeper understanding, then you will know. Everything happens for a reason. I hope your mom is still okay. you are truly a great man.
I never seen my dad, never seen his picture..I thought he's dead, but never seen his grave.
Snowdrops, thank you and I am very grateful for my birth mother caring and loving enough to bring me into this world. I am very sorry to hear about your dad. Bless you!
Some people can't see the way you see it..they just see abandonment, unloving parent. They don;t care to see the positive side of everything. They're alive, they've experienced the life they deserved..
Snowdrops, that's very true and it is a shame for sure.
Hi Billybuc,
This was a very touching story. Keep sharing the love and boldly go where no one has gone before. And that brave partner of yours in your picture will enable you to reach any goal you set :-)
"Live long and prosper".
Suhail, I couldn't agree with you more. Love your last line...and may you live long and prosper as well my friend.
Now i want to cry..so touching...i wish you all the best in finding your mum, if she is still alive....
Thank you Lola; I didn't mean to make you cry. :) Say hello to my relatives in Dublin!
This is beautiful. I was looking at the top hubs and this one is ranked up there. I loved it! Another great one!
Vicki, thank you. This is a strange one because it just had a resurgence after several months. Now it's hot, hot, hot...and I have no idea why. OH well, I'll ride the wave until it breaks. :)
Really its a touching hub...
Voted up! This was a good hub and totally made my day!
Anusujith, thank you so much! It was a letter I needed to write.
Mikey, I'm glad I could brighten you day with my writing. That is why I write, to reach people. I appreciate your kind words.
What a beautiful tribute to your birth mom AND your adoptive parents! Speaking as a birth mom myself, who gave up her son over 30 years ago, I KNOW your birth mom would be so proud of you - you're an amazing person! As birth mothers, we somehow "cease to exist" after the adoption papers are signed. Thank you for recognizing our worth through a beautifully written letter that ANY birth mom would be blessed to receive! Looking forward to reading more of your inspirational writings!
Seira, thank you so much and I am so happy that my letter had special meaning for you. I know that for many it is an agonizing decision and I wanted everyone to know that there are happy endings in those circumstances.
Billy,
this is the most amazing hub about your mom,your mom who raised you and your dad.I like how you don't judge your mom,In those days girls were put in unwed shelters until their babies were born,then they'd send the girls back to their parents and promptly put up for adoption.It was shame on a family then and a girls reputation was protected in this way by their own parents themselves.That may not be the case since you were 9 months old.Maybe she was alone and wanted so much more for you than she could give.You show no animosity and I think that makes you a fair decent ,kind Man. There are so many reasons you could blame her for.You had a good life and I believe she wanted that for you. Your mom and dad were amazing people, to give you such a loving home and taught you to be a good man.Through them, you learned love, compassion for others among other traits.Your going to make a great husband to your girl because of what they taught you.You were their son,the second they took you.Not alot of people wanted a sick child then,even now people don't.Billy just through knowing you here I think they raised a terrific guy. I'm also positive over her years Billy, your bio mom hoped and prayed you were loved and in a good loving home.Thanks for sharing this.It's truly moving and honest.Now Billy, you can let go of your bio mom, but do it believing she wondered about you too.
Rusti, you can call me Bill if you like and thank you for the kindest comment I think I have ever read. I have let go of my bio mom and all is well.
I realize how difficult it was for many women back in the old days and I'm sure it was a horrible time for her. She did what she had to do and I respect that decision. I can't judge someone and won't judge someone I've never met and never talked to.
There were also illegal abortions back then and she did not choose that option so I have endless things to be thankful for.
Including your wonderful message. Thank you dear lady and my best wishes to you and your family.
Great letter!! I've been through an adoption as well. I need to write a letter to the father I never met.
What a beautiful, moving, amazing hub. Thank you for sharing. I loved it!
Thank you Faith; it just felt like something I needed to do.
Boomer, thank you! It was important to me and I guess that showed in the writing. I appreciate your kind words.
It is quite sad to read. I too feel it. As my mother passed away when I was only 16 days old. Sorry
Naimishika, I'm sorry this made you feel sad. For me it was a celebration of life. Thank you for reading and I'm sorry for your pain and loss.
this is such a wonderful letter. It hits home more than you know, I too am adopted, but much younger, but how brave of you... brings tears to my eyes.
Thank you Rebecca; I'm glad you liked it. If you ever want to talk about adoption drop me a line.
How wonderful. Thanks for sharing.
What a beautiful letter Billy! I have tears in my eyes.
Thank you, Reagu, for stopping by; I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Jasmith, thank you for appreciating this letter. It means a lot to me.
That was a very endearing article. Hopefully some day she will be able to read this and know that you turned out great. It is such an advanatage to have such supportive and loving parents to help guide you though life.
Nickels, you are oh so correct. My adopted parents were simply the best. Thank you so much for your support and kind words.
Lovely post
Amy, thank you. I appreciate your words and for stopping by.
Thank you! I too am a birth mom . I had no choice and I continue today to suffer great loss. It never leaves me. I so love my son. Your letter gave me peace , not guilt for what was out of my control so many years ago. Your mom for sure would be proud of your letter...
Me, there are so many reasons why women have to give up their child, and I have no doubt that they are valid reasons and there is a great deal of pain associated with the decision. I have no doubt that you did the right thing and guilt is a complete waste of time. You gave your child the best opportunity to thrive and that's an act of love.
Me, I never once said my birth mother was a nothing. She made her decision and that decision included a closed adoption where the information surrounding the adoption are locked away. I respect her wishes to keep it closed. She can open it any old time she wants and I respect that too.
I appreciate you commenting and I hope you can find some peace in your life regarding this matter.
Me, I make no judgment about you; please don't presume to know enough about me to make a judgment about me. I respect your stance and your opinion.
Thank you for your comments. Have a good life!
Me, I'm going to say this one more time and then you have used up your time and space on my site....I'm sorry for your pain. You have no business telling me how to live my life or what decisions to make. Nobody gave you that right and your time in the limelight here is over. Deal with your pain and your life and I will deal with mine. Unlike you I am happy; you obviously are not or you would not continue this diatribe. I am sorry that you have this much pain still after all those years.
Bill,
This is a beautiful tribute to both of your mothers. Thanks for sharing your letter with us.
I admire your strength and your patience in responding to all the comments that have been left here.
Billy, you dear man. I can see by all your followers that your courage has touched so many lives. As I read this letter my own heart was touched. You have inspired others in a very special way.Once again, this is a gentle reminder of why we must never judge others. We have no idea what their lives have endured. Let us all love one another unconditionally. You are indeed a diamond.
Thank you Daisy! Those are very kind words and thank you for sharing this.
Thank you Audrey! I'm just a guy trying to find his way in the wilderness of life. Right now I seem to be on the right path. :) I appreciate your kindness.
Hi billy, now I have used up about ten tissues I just want to say what an amazing letter, and you are an awesome man too. This was beautiful.
Thank you Nell! This was a hard hub for me to write but I'm glad I did and I appreciate your kind words; sorry about the tissue!
I have to say that is one of the most moving letters that I have ever read! Your words are so vital and expressed with grace. Your Mom would have been proud of you and glad you re happy now! I hope you showed this to Bev...she would be prod of you too! I am glad you expreded your feelings in such a great way! Voted up for miles :)
Thank you Audra! Coming from you that means a great deal to me. It was an important letter for me and I'm so happy that others have given their support.
check out my book coming soon. it is called letters to know where an adoption st.ory
Anthony, thank you for stopping by but please note that HubPages discourages mentioning or promoting your own work in comments.
Matt Tuller 4 months ago
Nice. Very touching. It's good to appreciate that kind of stuff. Many people go through their lives feeling crippled and betrayed bitter and beaten for much less. It's nice to see.