Personal Responsibility: Playing the Blame Game and Not the H.O.W. Game

I had a teacher once back when I was in high school. He was a gruff S.O.B. but as fair-minded a man as you could hope to find. He told us that he didn’t give a damn if we made a mistake, and he sure as hell didn’t want to hear us blame the mistake on any other person or random act of God. He simply wanted to know what we were going to do to rectify it.

In other words, all he required from us was to accept responsibility and then find a solution.

I did not forget that valuable lesson when I became a teacher, and I have not forgotten it in other facets of my life.

To blame is to waste valuable time, and it accomplishes very little.

Why, then, do so many people spend so much of that precious commodity called time, laying the blame at the doorstep of whoever is handy, instead of working towards a solution?

Oh My God! Just when you thought the blaming might end with the Presidential Election finally over, we are now treated to the political sniping about the fiscal cliff!

ENOUGH!

I don’t care which side is right or wrong! All I know is that this country is screwed up. I don’t care who failed to do this, and who failed to do that. All I know is that many of the world’s citizens are hurting.

Take one hundred million middle class citizens who are scrambling just to keep their heads above water, and tell them who is to blame for their plight in life, and you have their vote.

Millions are homeless! How are we going to fix that problem? Millions have lost their homes to foreclosure! How are we going to fix that problem? Millions of Veterans cannot get the benefits they are owed! How are we going to fix that problem? Millions are abused and millions are sold into slavery! How are we going to fix that problem?

The debate over gun control is just heating up! Wait until we get into the blame game on that debate…oh, wait, it’s already happened. The NRA blames movies, music, and video games for violence in America.

If you are not part of the solution then you are part of the problem! Period!

If I had a dollar for every conference I had with parents where they blamed their child’s poor performance on someone else, I would be a rich man today. It was always the teachers who were the problem, or it was the administration, or the poorly defined standards and unrealistic expectations. Amazingly, it was never their parenting or their child’s laziness.

I would sit and listen politely, and when they finished with their venting I would simply ask what are we going to do about it? Complaining and finger-pointing accomplishes nothing. Show me a solution and I’m on board with you all the way.

The last time I counted, I believe I have worked at least twenty-five different jobs during my lifetime. I have no idea how many different people I have worked with over that span, but I can tell you that the work environment was pretty much the same no matter what the job was. Hang out in the lunchroom of any business and you will hear employees complaining about the working conditions. Either the pay isn’t adequate or the conditions aren’t ideal. They are being asked to do too much or they are not being given proper training or explanations.

Not one word is said about solving the problems, and certainly you would never hear a worker take responsibility and surmise that maybe he/she was part of the problem.

I have no patience with any of it!

I learned very early on that it was much better to accept responsibility when I screwed up at home. I would much rather suffer through fifteen minutes of my dad’s wrath rather than lose his respect by making some lame-ass excuse for my poor performance.

He simply would not allow it. He taught me that a man owns up to his mistakes and then sets out to fix them. We all make mistakes and it takes so little effort to admit those mistakes, and yet so few people are willing to do that.

Blame someone else! That seems to be the American credo in today’s world.

If you are not part of the solution then you are part of the problem!

Whatever happened to personal responsibility?

I can tell you this and I believe it with every fiber of my being: if you are a parent and you are not teaching personal responsibility to your kids, then you are failing as a parent.

We have a new generation of children who seem to think the world owes them something. They seem to think they are entitled to respect without earning that respect. They seem to think that they are entitled to rewards without working for them, and they seem to think that no matter what mistakes they make, they are not at fault.

Every action has a consequence, and if that consequence is negative in nature then we need to own up to it and correct it.

Still, we have millions of parents who coddle their children, pat them on the head and tell them how fantastic they are, and worse yet, make excuses for them.

Am I the only one who sees the possibility for disastrous results from that kind of parenting?

None of us are perfect! Teach children that, and then teach them how to behave better next time. There are definite consequences in the real world when behavior is not acceptable. To grow up not realizing that fact of life is dangerous, and to raise a child to believe there are no consequences is irresponsible.

Well, seriously, who cares! The fact of the matter is that it has happened. Now what are we going to do about it?

Whatever happened to the family sitting down and eating dinner together? When I was growing up, our family had every single dinner together. It was a time for sharing and it was a time for bonding. We learned about each other’s day, and we learned valuable lessons during those meals as well.

Now we have parents running their children to dance lessons, and sport’s practices, then to the gym or the tanning salon or music lessons, and they rush home frazzled and are at their wit’s end.

I heard a mother complaining the other day while we stood in line. She had so much to do, and she was worn out running her kids here and there, and she just wanted to scream. Her words, not mine!

Hello! Where is the personal responsibility? She has chosen her lifestyle, and she can change her lifestyle.

I have a doctor friend who is well-past retirement age, and he will tell you he can’t afford to retire because he has so many possessions to make payments on.

Hello! Where is the personal responsibility? Did someone hold a gun to his head and force him to purchase all those possessions?

Just as a side note, what does that saying mean? I’ve heard that my entire life and I don’t have a clue what carrying a hand basket has to do with going to hell. J

The plain fact of the matter is that we have problems in the world today, and I can’t help but wonder if maybe part of the reason is that we don’t take responsibility, but rather spend all of our time blaming others for our problems.

We all recently mourned the deplorable act of violence in Connecticut, and almost immediately after the last bullet had been fired many sought to place the blame at the doorstep of the NRA.

Whatever! Whether or not the ridiculous gun laws in the United States had anything to do with the mass shooting is irrelevant. What are you going to do to fix the problem, because if we are doing nothing to make this world a better place then we are part of the problem.

Personal responsibility! The buck stops here!

Society today is made up of a great number of ostriches who would rather stick their heads in the sand and hope the problems go away, rather than pulling their heads out (of the sand of course) and becoming part of the change they so desperately desire.

Personal responsibility! The buck stops here!

Every single one of you is capable of doing something to make this world better. Every single one of you! If you choose not to do so, then all of your complaining and belly-aching and blaming is just so much nonsense.

Personal responsibility! The buck stops here!

You are either part of the solution or you are part of the problem!

Which one are you? H.O.W. will you make a difference?

2012 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)